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"On my part, I remain committed to the process of dialogue. It is my firm belief that dialogue and a willingness to look with honesty and clarity at the reality of Tibet can lead us to a viable solution."

Going Home"

July 27, 2010

High Peaks Pure Earth
July 23, 2010

High Peaks Pure Earth has translated a blogpost
by Dolkar Tso which was posted on her blog on
July 21, 2010. Dolkar Tso is the wife of
businessman, environmentalist and philanthropist
Karma Samdrup, sentenced to 15 years in prison on
June 24, 2010 in Xinjiang on charges of alleged "grave-robbing".

Dolkar Tso started blogging in June 2010 during
her husband's trial, providing a personal insight
into the case. Her blogs, hosted on Chinese site
Sohu.com, have been repeatedly closed down and
she is currently on her 5th blog.

Whilst the case of Karma Samdrup and his
imprisoned brothers Rinchen Samdrup and Chime
Namgyal fades out of the news, Dolkar Tso's
blogpost is a portrait of a distressed woman
trying to imagine how best to carry on for the
sake of the family. The blogpost starts with the
summer, usually the time of the year when the
family would leave the city of Xining and go home
to the grasslands. The English translation
reflects the original Chinese language nostalgic
internal monologue style and confused grammar.

Follow this link to see all posts by Dolkar Tso
that High Peaks Pure Earth has translated to date.

*************
"Going Home"
by Dolkar Tso
July 21, 2010

"My favourite part of the year is going home, the
children getting excited before their exams and
starting to think about seeing their
grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the fresh
air, green grass and blue sky... My children, the
beautiful scenery of home may still be as
tranquil as it was before but something in the
air has changed, your mother really doesn't want
you to be aware of these changes or to see them.

Summer was such a wonderful time, my husband
would often come back with us to the grasslands
of Yushu, we would breathe in the scent of
various herbs, see black pearl-like yaks and
white cloud-like sheep. When the tents were up,
we would see the neighbours in far off tents, we
would smile at each other, looking up to the
skies, red faced under the sun with white teeth.
Children who are born and grew up on the
grasslands are kind-hearted and sincere. My
husband loved to take photos of us, that was our best and happiest time.


Kids are still playing and noisily running around
the public square in Xining, among these kids,
one experienced the major earthquake in April,
witnessed destruction and death, lost his mother;
two of them haven't see their father for half a
year and perhaps have to wait fourteen and a half
more years. The boy who lost his mother still
doesn't know what death means; my two girls whose
father suffered injustice still don't know what
separation means. The younger daughter once wrote
in her essay "Secret" that she wants to marry the
same kind of man as her kind, big and tall father
when she grows up. If this is true that the
fifteen years have to be used to prove my
husband's innocence, a seemingly endless amount
of time is needed to show that this was a
miscarriage of justice, would my daughters still
remember what their father looks like? The time
of their youth will be spent without a father, at
the time when they begin to think about getting
married, will the shadow of their father not appear in their partners?

This kind of thing really makes me feel pain. But
what else can I think about? With parents on the
one hand, I have to force myself to pretend I am
strong enough to take the pain. With the children
on the other hand, I can only pretend that
nothing has happened. But no one can control my
thoughts, not even myself. My husband's figure,
which has become so slight, always appears in
front of my eyes, I hear him describing his
experiences of torture, this time the world was
able to admire his courage and steadfastness but
I can not get rid of the overlapping images in my
mind of the tall and thin physique of my husband.
It was like films and documentaries I had seen,
images of Nazi concentration camps actually appeared in my mind.

Never did I dream that these misfortunes would
happen. In a sound legal system, I never thought
my husband would face these grievances. If he is
not bogged down by this misfortune, he will still
pursue the protection of culture and the
environment and continue to study wall paintings,
stone carvings, ancient philosophy, and the
connection between ancient life philosophy and
current environmental disasters, he will miss his
two lovely daughters and simple and honest chats
with his friends; the happiness of today also
carries with it the feelings of yesterday, my
quiet life to his surprise has been hijacked by "aliens"[1].

How is he now? Is he starving? Is he being beaten
again? Is he subject to abuse? Nobody dares to
think of these things. The parents are of benign
countenance, family members are neither
obsequious nor arrogant. They are on my side by
comforting me that there are no difficulties that
cannot be overcome and no time that would stand
still as long as we adhere to our original minds
and do not lose ourselves. My friends say the
most valuable thing is: he is still himself, your husband will not be changed.

Good and evil stand together, the contrast
between black and white is so obvious. The world
is always a mixed blessing, no one knows what
tomorrow will look like, the evil of all will
collapse, sooner or later; insist on the good but
encountering difficulties is Buddhist practice in itself."

[1] This is a reference to a "funny" message left
by Sohu.com when a blog is deleted that the blog has been "abducted by aliens".

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